Nostalgia of the Mind

With the end of the school year approaching, and thus finals, and then summer, I have increasingly noticed a feeling of general apathy about myself. This is not dissimilar to the “senioritis” which many of the graduating students of my high school currently suffer from. According to Wikipedia, though,

Senioritis is not to be confused with general apathy that one may experience at the end of any other academic year.

I don’t know what it is about it, but with my internship at a place called uWink as a programmer, and my 4.14 GPA (including PE, but that’s what the colleges see), I have frankly stopped caring about school work, school, grades, and even how I conduct myself in classes. This in turn is related to my previous post about college and my general feelings about college. Honestly, having taken two or more college courses each summer for the past few summers, and expecting to take another one this upcoming one, I just don’t care. It all seems so stupid, and boring, and kinda depresses me: why do in a year what you can just do in a quarter of a year? The boredom, along with my general good grades, has pretty much stopped me from doing very much academically anymore. I still do the homework when I have to, but, with as little effort as possible.
I mean, college is upcoming, and next year, frankly, will be a bitch. I’m taking AP English, AP History, AP Chemisty, Honors Biology (by popular belief the hardest class you can take as a Junior), andHonors Pre-Calculus. But, really, considering my current job aspirations (as a computer programmer of some kind), I don’t see the need to go to MIT or CalTech. Indeed, there is one way of thinking that going to merely a good school instead of a HOLY-FUCKING-GOD-YOU-GOT-IN-WHERE?!?!?!? is better. At the best universities, you know that your professor(s) are probably both teaching your class and trying to secure that 11 million dollar research grant. This means that you may not get the same education as someone who is pretty much devoted to teaching you.
This kind of persuasion, unfortunately, causes me to generally leave academics in general on my list of priorities. For example, I’m writing this blog post instead of the French quiz I have tomorrow. I’ll feel it in the morning, though. I’m also neglecting a shower. These two, in turn, lead to my lowest grade at the moment in French, and the horrification of any future girlfriends (hah) I may have, as well as the general repulsion of my friends/classmates from me. Don’t worry, I’ll take a shower, and then study for the quiz. But really, this is an example of my apathetic tendencies as of spring break.

Who knows, maybe next year will dawn new and bright, I back to school motivated, attentive, and interested, but, then again, maybe not. The summer may be enough to rejuvenate what hitherto gleamed in mine eye, mayhap recover vital joy in learning upcoming, the loving embrace of genteel Summer restoring heart where heart had congealed, or mayhap not. Only time, cruel mistress , binding humanity into her ensnaring web, will reveal the future’s secrets, and her lips are impregnable stone.

Shakespeare owns.

Peace out.
Note: You’ll notice that I put this as one whopping blog post instead of having a more button a third of the way through. I do this both so that my friends on Facebook, which posts my blog posts automatically as notes to my profile, can read them a post from start to finish; and also because, as seen in my removal of my hits counter from the main page, I stopped caring about hits. (yet another example of lassitude [ooh, vocab word of the day sweeeet*])

*: See, I still care about a few things in life.**

**: I just proved this entire blog post wrong. Shit.

In my high school, where tuition is $27,000 and rising annually, where the incomes of many families is measured in the millions (not mine, unfortunately), where every single student is expected to continue onto college, college is a big deal. Forget all those heartwarming stories in the movies of kids without money or ambition getting inspired or getting financial aid, and going to college, perhaps against a parent’s wishes; at my school, not going to college is taboo. If you tell people you don’t want to go, then you are told by every single person that you should: your friends, your teachers, your parents, your college counselor, even your neighbors. (more…)